Quote of the Day

Q and Ozzi are wrestling around, Ozzi goes bonk, and Ozzi starts to cry.

Q: "Sorry Ozzi."

He picks up a nearby toy and hands it to Ozzi.

Q: "Here's a little somethin' for your trouble."

Ouch

It was a rough weekend. K8 spent the whole weekend with a nasty sinus headache that just wouldn't let go. Ouch.

Ozzi has a giant welt in the center of his forehead. It looks like the corner of the coffee table has converted him to Hinduism. Maybe Ganesha will make his new cold go away. Double ouch.

I have a wonderful little bruise across the bridge of my nose after being attacked by my ladder while trying to force it into a pile of snow and ice. Though considering the level of disregard for my personal safety while I attempted to remove the ice dams on our roof, I should consider myself lucky that's all I got, but still, ouch.

K8 has been doing a damn good job balancing a demanding career with getting in quality time with the boys. Yet Q, it seems, has entered a catholic mother phase in which he has taken it upon himself to break K8's will with guilt. I don't know how many times Q told K8 to, "Go to work for just a little bit then come home." All of my attempts to explain why mom has to go to work, that he's lucky to see her as much as he does, and that for many kids both parents go to work everyday are disregarded. The cliche "starving kids in Africa" speeches swim just below the surface. Then this morning Q and I have this conversation.
"Papa, Barack Obama lives in the White House?"
"Yep, now that he's president he lives in the White House."
"And he works in the White House too?"
"Yeah, his office is in the White House too."
He ponders this for a few seconds, making connections.
"Papa, I want MomMom to be president."
"Umm, No. No you don't."

OUCH!

Planet Earth

We are encroaching a once a week average for zoo visits these days. Most often the Minnesota Zoo, but we do mix in the occasional stop at Como Zoo as well. Q has developed a passionate interest in the natural world and I'm guessing all our time at the zoo has something to do with that. That passion is even more prevalent now that he owns Planet Earth.

For Christmas Q was given the Planet Earth series on DVD (I swear to god, that was the first thing he said when I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. We had rented the series earlier in Nov.). While the boys were sick these last two weeks I got a little bit more willing to put in a movie while Q laid down on the couch. Every time I would ask what he wanted to watch, even suggesting Wall-E (I love Wall-E). Every time he would request a Planet Earth DVD. In fact, a lot of the time, he would request a specific episode. The caves one is his favorite he says. Is it weird for a now 4 year-old to prefer a documentary over cartoons?

Is it even weirder for a now 4 year-old to loudly cheer on the predators as they pursue their prey? "GO TIGER GO! GET THAT MONKEY!" What the hell? This is the same kid that offers his favorite stuffed animals to crying babies to make them feel better. He's even started acting out scenes from the show with his Little People animals.

You can totally tell he still felt like crap in that last picture. I'm glad that's over.

Four Years Eve

Q,

You are on the verge of your 4th birthday. You are entering an age of which I can recall moments in my own existence. This really freaks me out. It means I need to become the father that I want you to recall when you're my age. Maybe something like Liam Neeson in Love Actually. Conveniently your birthday comes along every year at the same time as New Years Resolutions.

These last four years with you have been a life altering blast. No one makes me laugh, work, or play harder. To simply say I love you would be a huge understatement. You are like water to me. I couldn't survive without you. Sure, I can be apart from you for a while, but dehydration gets pretty damn miserable.

Everyday you manage to say or do at least one thing that knocks my socks off. The other day you were sneaking some treats off the counter and feeding them to Ozzi because, "He was a really good boy today." Or when the Dr. asks if you are around anyone that smokes you say, "Grandpa does, but that's naughty." And then today you tell me, "I really like this song."



Though you continue to say you want to be a "Firefighter in Space" and I will always have my fingers crossed for a Doctor Without Borders, you are certainly showing promise in the engineering department.

You continue to be the most compassionate person this side of the Dalai Lama. You are almost always willing, if not eager, to share. You readily help care for your brother, little cousins, or any other baby you encounter. You tell you're mother and I to "Calm down." and "It's not a big deal." more often than we have to tell you. I hope you never loose that.

Q, Happy Birthday. I love you. You are as awesome as awesome gets... even if, or more likely because, you insist on making goofy-ass faces every time you know we are taking a picture of you.

Edit: Thanks to KristenMary for reminding me that there are ways to put Q's engineering skills to good vicarious karmic use some day.
Engineers Without Borders
Architecture For Humanity

Quote Of The Day

K8: "What did you learn at preschool today, Q?"

Q: "I killed Baby Jesus."

On Tuesday, while I was volunteering at his preschool, I was a bit concerned when a teacher mentioned to the class of 3 year-olds that "Jesus died for our sins." I'm not quite ready to get into a DEATH conversation with Q yet. I just didn't realize that he would turn these teachings into Nine Inch Nails lyrics.

DK: "Oy vey!"

Damn You Irony!

I am convinced the boys are plotting against us. Worst yet, they are using what I post on this blog as fuel for their clever cruelty. "Sleepyhead ehe? Comparing me to a raver? We'll show them! Muuhahaha!"

In the middle of the night Ozzi is screaming like he's on fire. K8 and I betray our better judgment to bring him into our bed. Like roadies digging for all the green M&M's to fill a bowl in Mick Jagger's dressing room, we know we're just condoning the behavior, but, at 1 in the morning, we're not willing to endure the wrath incurred. We must have dropped a few red ones into the bowl. From 1 to 4 am Ozzi was screaming, laughing, crying, babbling, flailing, and playing like a belligerent drunk. Not drunk on alcohol, drunk on power. Power over his weak enabler parents. He bites his beautiful mother. He stage dives onto my head and gives me a face full of pee engorged diaper. "This isn't a fucking Daft Punk concert you cute crazy little shit, it's Mama and Papa's bed. It's not party time, it's sleeping time. Pleeeeaaaaaaase go to sleep. Please! AAAAAHHHHH!"

Whimpers from the other room warn us of the approach of the whining reinforcements that Ozzi has called in. Q's arrival to the battle in our bed, however, does not work out to Ozzi's favor. Emboldened by overcrowding and sleep deprivation, I gather Ozzi up and place him back in his crib. I return to our bed.... and Q. Q begins to lightly moan and stroke my hair like a teenager on ecstasy and Ozzi catches on fire again. The battle rages back and forth until eventually Q, realizing a wild and ruckus neighbor is more tolerable than a wild and ruckus bedfellow, returns to his own bed. K8 manages, with great effort, to cajole Ozzi to sleep just in time to miss the morning sun rise into our window.

Quotes of the Day

Q is building a "zoo" out of Duplos on the living room floor. Ozzi comes along and does his best Godzilla impression.

Q: "NOOO! PUT THAT BABY ON TRIAL!"

Our oldest may not be able to write his name yet but at least he's got a good grasp of the American Judicial System. "I'll be the Judge. You be the Jury.", he says banging on the table with a plastic hammer.

It really is amazing what kids pick up. The previous day we had this conversation while looking at a globe.

Q: "Which country is Africa?"
DK: "Africa is a continent, not a country."
K8, from the other room: "Good work Sarah Palin."
Q, pointing to Africa: "Sarah Palin lives in Africa?"
DK: "No. She lives in Alaska."
Q: "Where does John McCain live?"
DK: "Arizona."

And then there was this exchange in the bookstore last week when Q spotted a magazine with Obama on the cover.

Q: "MomMom, look! Obama!"
K8: "Yep."
Q: "He's smiling. Why is he smiling?"
DK: "Because he won the election."
Q: "You vote for him? I vote for him. Barack Obama's your friend? He your friend MomMom?"
K8: "We hope so."
Q, jumping up and down: "Barack Obama's MY friend TOO!"

Torturing Your Parents 101 with Professor Q

Good morning class. For today's lesson we will be discussing how to scare the holy shit out of your parents using what the medical community calls Torticollis.

• Step 1: wake up at 5:30 am.
  
• Step 2: lay down on the floor beside your bed.
• Step 3: grasp the back of your neck and start crying.
• Step 4: when your parent(s) enters the room and tries to pick you up off the floor, scream.
• Step 5: through your cries repeatedly say something to the effect of, "my neck's stuck." with panic in your eyes.
• Step 6: let your parent(s) imagine all the horrifying scenarios resulting from a major neck injury.
  

These six easy steps will most likely result in a trip to the emergency room. The staff will then inform your parent(s) that what you have is Torticollis, a very common ailment for children between 2 and 5 years of age. As a bonus, you get to watch the relief that your parent(s) are feeling deflate when the doctor tells them that Torticollis can last anywhere from 1 hour to 4 days.

Milk it! As long as you continue to clutch your neck and wince at even the slightest movement, you can enjoy sitting on the couch undisturbed watching cartoons and eating junkfood.

Quentin of Solace

K8 and I love James Bond movies so much that we already have a babysitter lined up for the 14th. So when I saw that Swatch has come out with 007 villain watches I damn near soiled myself. Some are definitely cooler than others and I'm a little bummed they only have villains. Though we'll continue to hope for change an official Q swatch watch, I think the Baron Samedi watch will suit our Q quite well for his very first watch. Q's Christmas list is getting longer everyday.

Quote of the Day

DK: "Q, what planet do we live on?"

Q: "Google Earth."

If that doesn't deserve a free G1 phone from Google, I don't know what does.

A Serious Question

We've got potty-training pretty well licked at this point but could someone please tell me how you are supposed to teach a 3 year old how to effectively wipe his own ass? On a few occasions now he has taken it upon himself to do the paperwork on his own with a variety of less than desirable results.

Movements

This weekend we moved Ozzi's crib out of our bedroom and into Q's room. Our "thinking" was that his insane, unrelenting screams at night were partly fueled by the fact that he could see us there in our bed. Maybe he wouldn't have the same expectations of Q to cave to his angry, sleep depriving persistance. Or maybe he just knew that he could make Q a screaming offer he couldn't refuse; to join him in braking Mama and Papa's wills, forcing us to move Ozzi to the comforts of our bed and K8's boob.

Our second attempt at getting Q to move out onto the field with his soccer coach and other kids was a success. Our first day of soccer did not go well. Q clung to my leg crying. We had to leave early. What a difference a week filled with kicking the ball around at home and at Mattocks Park, going to a big kid game, phone calls with Grandpa and Grandma, and promises of Izzy's Ice Cream at Java Train can make. He's certainly no Freddy Adu, but he went out there and gave it his easily distracted best. He may have even found himself a new girlfriend via a shared love for picking dandelions. Preschool Soccer could be one of the funniest things I've ever watched.

We've been moved to find food for Ozzi that is not only healthy but more adventurous in the flavor department than what we can find at Super Target or Mississippi Market. We found it at the Farmers Market. Sweet Cheeks Baby Food is all local and organic and Ozzi seems to love it...

especially the beets, though the movement in his diaper the next day is, well, Vikings Purple. If you're looking for baby food definitely check out Sweet Cheeks.

88 mph and 1.21 Gigawatts

Today at Arty Pants Q met his future self. It appears Q will, in his early 20's, be employed at The Walker reading children's books to kids more interested in the ginormous freight elevator right next to the "story time" area.

Seriously this dude looked exactly like a grown up version of Q and had the same name.

Now where did I put the keys to the DeLorean.

Things I've learned since last Thursday

1. Brackett Park in Minneapolis may have become our new favorite park in the Metro. With a super-cool modern playground, a fenced in wading pool, clean bathrooms, a fair amount of shade, and even a skatepark Brackett is hard to beat. Follow the link and read about the rocket.

2. The most direct route to Forestville/Mystery Cave State Park from St. Paul according to the DNR map online is not the best route. Turns out many "County Roads" are, in fact, gravel roads... and those gravel roads lead to a bridge closed to automobiles about 1 mile from our destination.

3. Digging for fossils can be a very fun activity provided you avoid the Wild Parsnip and you don't fall down the cliff of loose limestone. Amazingly we avoided both and found one good fossil. Some other little girl found a nice sized cephalopod fossil. I was jealous. Q was more interested in getting back to the campsite to "make fire".

4. Bringing a pack of 6 Cheddar Brats for the two of us left me with a comfortable margin of error that the slight pitch of the cooking grate took full advantage of.

5. Avoiding horse poop on the shared hiking trails turned a 3 mile hike into a 5 mile hike.

6. Q is not a big fan of bats.

7. Watching hundreds of fireflies just outside the tent window with a three year old is awesome.

This Week....

we spent a lot of time in the giraffe tent,



suddenly got brave at the park,



and picked up these camo Keen's on clearance at REI for Q.



Now I'm packing up for Q and I to go to Forestville/Mystery Cave State Park for Q's first camping trip. "On to a'venture."

Like little phoenixes from the ashes

How in the world did these two handsome devils emerge from my genetic output? The only theory I have is that K8 passed on 100% dominant traits while I am a mass of purely recessive. Lucky for them.

Concentrate Daniel-san

As I type this Q is in the other room trying to catch the dust floating in the sunshine coming through the window. Like Mr. Miyagi said, "Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything."

Anyway, I wanted to post about Siji Kids the great kids clothing store that recently moved from Snelling, blocks away from our house, to Grand, just a few more blocks away from our house. It's hard not stopping in whenever we walk past while out on a walk and I'm glad we did the other day because we found what I believe could be the coolest kids shirt ever:

Quote of the Day

If I absolutely had to name one, and only one, musical artist as my all time favorite it would have to be Ben Folds. So I was pretty damn pleased this morning when Q exclaimed, "I'M ROCKIN' THE SUBURBS!" after I put on his Clash t-shirt.

Quote of the Day

Q: "nah nah hah.... nah nah hah.... foxy.... later... nah nah hah..."

Hendrix (and Garth) would be proud.

I wasn't quite sure if I should correct him or not. But it's nice to hear another song added to the short list of choruses constantly sung by Q around the house. He knows the words to Tegan and Sarah's Walking With a Ghost about as good as his alphabet.

The fact that he has become such a Tegan and Sarah fan does have me a bit concerned about his psychological wellbeing. I love their music too, but it is a bit dreary for a three year old to be this into it.

I really need to get the cable for the video camera so I can start proving some of this stuff.

A perfect morning for a 3 year old

... and he pooped in the big potty so we walked to Red Balloon and picked up Follow the Line Around the World by Laura Ljungkvist. I don't know Laura but I'm quite positive that some how she wrote this book specifically for Q.