Good morning class. For today's lesson we will be discussing how to scare the holy shit out of your parents using what the medical community calls Torticollis.
- Step 1: wake up at 5:30 am.
- Step 2: lay down on the floor beside your bed.
- Step 3: grasp the back of your neck and start crying.
- Step 4: when your parent(s) enters the room and tries to pick you up off the floor, scream.
- Step 5: through your cries repeatedly say something to the effect of, "my neck's stuck." with panic in your eyes.
- Step 6: let your parent(s) imagine all the horrifying scenarios resulting from a major neck injury.
Milk it! As long as you continue to clutch your neck and wince at even the slightest movement, you can enjoy sitting on the couch undisturbed watching cartoons and eating junkfood.